If you think of the end, today has value to it all of a sudden, doesn't it?
"I’m sorry." I’ve gotten really good at saying sorry but I was never good at "being sorry." Because being sorry comes with the baggage that you actually act like you are sorry. If that even makes sense. And the only thing I’m better at than saying sorry is knowing when to be "too little, too late." You know? When you try to better the situation, but words will not change a single thing. So I’ll just take this time to address what I need to those people because I know it won’t change a single thing:
1. There is nothing more important that you taught me than that people change. That people can outgrow you and decide that they don’t care about your friendship, anymore. I over-estimated the fact that you would come around, but I can’t keep trying to mend fences when it should’ve been clear to me that you’ve walked away from it a long time ago. You’ve been there for me, went out of your way when I needed you. But I have to consider that those days are in the past. And they don’t apply to the person you are now.
2. Was it worth it? That’s all I thought about. That whatever reason you did what you did, I hope that it would be worth it. Because I’ve endured many nights thinking about what I did to you. To make you cry. That I deserved it. But more importantly, that you thought you deserved more than I could offer. And acted on it. I can never see you the same and I know you can’t either. We’ve been through a lot, but we’ll pretend it didn’t happen. I won’t even mention how much you’ve motivated me to be better than what I am, I have too much pride for that. Thank you.
3. I see that the rough patches between you and your best friend have been fixed. I’m happy for you. It made you stronger because you were able to ignore what was being said and make up for it by making new friends. No matter what, you were always trying to make the best out of things. Though other people had it out for you, I should’ve recognized that you were just being you. I should’ve held my own opinion about you instead of vibing off of other people’s negativity. And you’re welcome.
4. Your first impression could have had better timing, but I did notice. I could’ve gotten to know you better if maybe, I just gave you a chance instead of acting the way I did. If we actually had a real conversation, I know that we could’ve found common ground. I guess I was just trying to prove a point by not wanting to get to know you. But that point clearly didn’t really matter in the long run. You always had some concern over me. And I should’ve been more open.